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Don’t Just Throw Your Baby In A Dumpster

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baby in dumpster

Because of all the news stories about people throwing their babies into dumpsters, a lot of people think that a dumpster is a great place for a small child. At first, it makes sense. There’s a lot of stuff in a dumpster that a baby could play with, and heat from the rotting garbage would keep a baby warm.

But I’m here to tell you that throwing your baby into a dumpster is wrong. The infrastructure of an average township can’t handle a bunch of babies filling up all the dumpsters. Luckily, someone made a little advertisement that will hopefully put an end to people tossing their babies into dumpsters.

dumpster baby

I don’t know — the baby looks pretty happy in the first picture. Sure, it’s upside down and streaking toward the mangled spokes of a deflated bike tire or a carpet of smashed Snapple bottles, but the risk of the ride is really half the fun.

Actually, the baby looks the same in the second picture. It’s happy no matter what. Maybe the lady is getting rid of the baby because its dopamine levels are all fucked up. It must be frustrating to beat a child over and over and over again while it giggles and makes funny faces.

The main problem I see with this ad is that the baby is missing the region of flesh that connects its legs to the rest of its body. Because of this, some people might think that this ad only applies to babies that got that little triangle of flesh cutout in a horrible Play-Doh accident. I’m not a doctor, but that seems like a pretty legitimate reason to throw a baby in the trash. I don’t think that nurse in the second picture has the medical skill to re-attach that area. Besides, once the flesh gets mixed with the other Play-Doh colors, it’s really impossible to get the correct skin-tone back.

~Thanks Buzz Feed
post image flickred by MarmotChaser

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